it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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