Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
