Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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