4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
