Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
