Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
