Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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