It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
