remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
