i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
