So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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