I think i peed on brittanys purse
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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