tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
