worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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