Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
