For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
