Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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