I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
