Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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