I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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