So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
