There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
