the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
