I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
