the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
