im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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