All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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