he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
