Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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