discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
