What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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