you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
