why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
