Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
