I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
