we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
