do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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