So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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