apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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