How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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