hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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