I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
