batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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