As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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