he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
