is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
did you just send me my own nude
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
