Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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