Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
