Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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