drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
