please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
