the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
