I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
