oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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