shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
