I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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