So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
