just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize