To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
