I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my sisters under your porch take her home
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize